Saturday, May 28, 2016

Extre! Extree! Read all about it! Unicorn Beetle, A9 Survives Mugging! (w/pics & NPH)

BUY. THIS. CASE.
http://ift.tt/25sG6BP
http://ift.tt/25sG655

Ok, so there's a lot of dirty details i probably shouldn't talk about, but i'll try to give a Bob Saget-narrorated version (How I Met Your Mother watchers will understand whats happening);

my friend asked me for a ride, he needed to pick up a couple ounces of sandwiches. (following me, himym watchers?) in exchange i get a couple bites of sandwich.
this is a pretty normal thing, or at least it used to be. i found a better sandwich shop in a better part of town. but i digress; we proceed to pick up some sandwich.

so we pick up the sandwich guy go to this unfamiliar place and were like bro where the sandwiches at bruh we hungry. and thats when we find out hes not the sandwich guy, hes the sandwich guy's friend and dudes making the sandwiches and is supposedly going to bring them out to us. Eventually, sandwich dudes friend acts like they're taking too long and gets out the car and walks somewhere, none of us are paying attention where he goes we just hungry. when he comes back hes got two other dudes with him. one of thems got a bag, we figure thats the sandwich guy, he gets in the car and is like "lemme get your order" and were like dude, other guy supposed to have told you our order and you were supposed to bring it to us. so the dudes like let me go talk to him since he getting some sandwich too. so he gets out the car and talks to the guy a little, and then opens the bag

kids, nothing good happens after 3 am.
there are no sandwiches in the bag.
there are in fact guns in the bag
true af, fam

here, is where it gits less Bob Saget in full house, more Bob Saget in half baked, so i'm gonna say don't read this if you're timid. its not graphic, but it does kinda show a harsh underlying reality of how unnecessary prohibition of a dr- of sanwiches.. can lead to unnecessary violence. this is also where the part about why you SHOULD BUY THIS CASE comes in. so read it, if youre an adult.


they pull out the guns, and were all more stunned than deer. (idk how many countries have deer, but they just stare at you while youre honking and flashing lights at them until you hit them) The three dudes force us out of the car, each guy handling one of us individually from the other. The guy coming at me had a pistol he was pushing against my head telling me to get out of the car. once what was happening processed i quickly unbuckled my seatbelt, and out of habbit grabbed my phone which was in my lap. pistol-whippeed me in the back of the head, and told me to get on the ground. i did, and layed my phone next to me on the ground, thinking "WHY DO I HAVE THIS, WHAT AM I GONNA DO CALL THE COPS"

i guess the other guy was thinking the same thing, and proceeds to pistol whip my phone. which, mind you, is face down at the time. my phones gone right? that case is designed for drops, no way its gonna survive a full force hit to its back from a gun grip.

WRONG


it survived, bros.
dont get me wrong, its bent. and its a noticeable bend (picture iminent,) AND the case cracked a bit. BUT

NO SCREEN DAMAGE WHATSOEVER, PERFECTLY FULLY-FUNCTION-ALMOST-MINT-CONDITION-BESIDES-THE-BEND PHONE
it was LEGEN- WAIT FOR IT
no the pictures.
wait for the pictures


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